Friday, July 22, 2011

Things I have googled

We are rich or poor not because of what we have or do not have, but because of what we are. - Rod Mckuen

I don't want to write a post where I list all of my symptoms because I have read blogs of other women who've gone through this-- they've had all the textbook symptoms of pregnancy and list them and then their test comes back negative. In case this cycle doesn't go in the way I truly believe it will (POSITIVE!), I am not going to list my symptoms. That way if I find out the test is negative I won't also have to doubt the crazy symptoms I made up in my head.

Instead, for posterity, I will list the most recent things I googled this week:

average beta numbers
7dp6dt
swimming early pregnancy
bbt chemical pregnancy
chemical pregnancy

embryo fallout?
ectopic pregnancy ivf
blighted ovum
ivf almonds
ivf tips
elizabeth i of england
elevated temperatures ivf
poas how early
poas
early pregnancy symptoms
ivf implantation tips
post transfer
dos and don'ts after ivf transfer

7dp6d POAS and the results are...

All night long I dreamt about being pregnant, or having to go to the "loo". (In fact, since Tuesday night I have had dreams about having to "pee".... how weird is that?!) I also kept dreaming about taking a pg test!!!

So as soon as the alarm went off I took my temp: 98.2. (Yesterday was 98 and Tues was 97.85). Then I took a test. I was so nervous I sent Matt in to look.

TWO LINES!!!


Thursday, July 21, 2011

Two lines?


This morning, while Matt was in our bathroom, I snuck intothe hall bathroom to take a test. I dreamt about it all night long-- every night I've been dreaming about our baby or that I was pregnant, or that I took a test-- but I didn't want to "jump the gun". It also might be too early to test; it could turn out negative but I could still be pregnant, and I didn't want to get Matt depressed or disenchanted too early! So I left it in there, closed the door, and twiddled my thumbs while Matt got dressed. Then when we went out to make coffee I stepped in to check, prepared for the worst.

And then I said, "Oh my God". I told Matt to "get in here" and said "I did it, I didn't tell you but I did it". There were two lines. A very very faint 2nd line, but it was there. PREGNANT.

I know it's still early. There's a chance it's the trigger working its way out of my system. As I continue to test the line will either disappear or get stronger.

But here is what counts: for the first time in my life I have had a positive pregnancy test. Even if this doesn't work out, at least I have that moment-- the moment with my husband where our prayer and our hope was actually tangible.



Sunday, July 17, 2011

To be or not to be (superstitious/paranoid)

There is so much out there about random things to do to make an IVF work!!! Here are the things I AM doing:
1. Keeping warm: keeping socks on my feet until I'm past the implantation window and keeping my stomach covered (keeps blood flowing and prevents blood from going from the tummy to other places to warm up those cold areas)
2. Avoiding ice cream and ice cold beverages (same premise)
3. Meditating (I love chakra meditation and some others I found on youtube... I will need to link them to this post)
4. Making a countdown of positive thoughts
5. I will start using preg. tests after 6dpt, to test out the HcG and then hopefully get a positive. That way if it's negative it won't be such a crushing blow on the day of the beta but will be more gradual
6. Watch positive, comical shows-- preferably comedies! A study showed that laughter may help women get pregnant, and honestly, this isn't a hard thing to keep up with! I DVR'ed a bunch of "How I Met Your Mother" episodes and watch Friends whenever it's on!


Interestingly I feel so oddly at peace right now. I have minor cramping and twinges but I feel that this is all in God's hands. I believe it will work but if it doesn't for some reason I am fully at peace with it. I am trusting God right now more than I think I ever have in my life.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Things to do in my two week wait!

Sat 7/16 -
Sun 7/17 -
Mon 7/18 - Conference
Tue 7/19 - Conference & Matty's birthday
Wed 7/20 - Meeting in the AM & Lunch with Trish
Thu 7/21- Dinner at Plaza Tapatia's with Matty!
Fri 7/22 - Go to Dover & get beads for bead bracelet
Sat 7/23 - Explore Kent Island with Matty!
Sun 7/24- Swim & Work on bead bracelet!
Mon 7/25 - Curriculum Writing
Tues 7/26 - Curriculum Writing
Wed 7/27 - ?
Thu 7/28 - ?

Embryo Transfer

So I say to you, keep asking, and it will be given to you. Keep searching, and you will find. Keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you. Luke 11:9

This morning we went into Shady Grove for our transfer at 10:00. The transfer itself was 10:30 but we had a half hour "prep" time. While we were in the waiting room, my phone rang and it was Dr. Kipersztok. He told me that we had one embryo that was "just beautiful"-- hatching and everything. He said that because it was such a good strong embryo he wanted to strongly caution us to put back one. We discussed the statistics of putting in two and putting in two only raises your chance of multiples, doesn't raise your chance of
pregnancy. I totally agreed with him. Matt and I discussed it afterwards and agreed. The thing that concerns me with blasts is that even if you put in two, you can end up with THREE! So, no. I'll take one thank you!

So our nurse Lynn called us back, had us take off our shoes and put on the booties, then go into the transfer room. the transfer room was different-- on the embryology side of the floor and had nice ambient lighting. Along the wall was a small flat screen TV and next to the table I laid on was an ultrasound machine. Dr. Levens, the same doc who did my hysteroscopy and our 2nd (failed) IUI did the transfer. I like having the same doctor for things!!! We agreed on only one, then had to sign some consents, then Kim, the embryologist, came in to verify my ID and verify verbally only one. Then she showed on the TV the pic of our FANTASTIC little hatching embryo.

Dr Levens got me all "ready" down there and Angie, my transfer nurse, did the ultrasound by pressing down HARD on my stomach. It didn't hurt, but was certainly a lot of pressure. All the years of teaching and having to wait to go to the restroom paid off (because I had to have a full bladder for the transfer). Then Kim came in with a tiny catheter that held our embryo. Something happened in me when she came in and I knew that was our embryo-- the little thing that was part of Matt and part of me. It was something like love and it must be, on a small level, that "feeling" parents get when they see their baby for the first time. I just loved it already. I got to watch the catheter on the U/S machine and see when the embryo was put right back where it belonged in my tummy. While Dr. Levens was putting it in, Angie commented to Kim, "that really is a nice looking embryo, Kim!". It's so obvious that they take a lot of pride in what they do.

Then they took the catheter to the lab to make sure
they got it "out" and then I had to lay there for 5 minutes. Then Kim came back in with our signed consents and a picture of our embryo in a little card. She was so sweet-- she said that she and the other embryologists were "fawning" over the embryo back in the lab and that it was a great little embie. She also said that she hoped our baby would get my warm smile because she said she'd never seen such a nice smile from a patient before! How kind! She wished us the best of luck and pointed out their contact info. on the back of the card saying they love to get pictures of success stories! After that a nurse came with my discharge instructions and we were allowed to go. I was afraid to use the restroom-- I didn't want the little embie to fall out :) :)

Now I am resting comfortably. I don't want to move too much one way or the next because I don't want to hurt my little embryo...


Snuggle in, little bean, and be our baby. We will love you so, so much.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Transfer pushed to a Day 6

Sarah called this morning and said they are actually pushing my transfer back to tomorrow, a day 6 transfer. I asked if this was normal and she said they do this when the embryos need a little more time to turn into blastocysts.

Dr. K called later and said the same thing. We still have all 8 embryos, 5 are A+ and 3 are Bs and we need to figure out which one(s) are the leaders. Depending on how they make it through the night we might put two back tomorrow.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

3rd Fert. Report

Amazing news!!!

Sarah called this morning and today I have EIGHT embryos! I have read that sometimes it's possible for embryos to continue growing so I am so pleased! Eight continues to be a key element of this cycle...

So they are pushing my transfer back to Thursday. I asked her if this was a good sign, and she said it just means that I have enough that if some don't make it, I will still have some to transfer. Then Dr. K walked in, and jumped on the phone. He told me that they are all "grade A" embryos! 5 are A+ and 3 are A-!!! He said that based on how "fantastic" my embryos are he only wants to implant one on Thursday, because they are so strong that implanting two helps no chances other than the chances of twins. That makes perfect sense to me when I think and read about it!!!



No one can better bask in summer's balm than those who have endured winter's bite. Similarly, it is those who have suffered through life's darkest hours who are able to truly savor the bright dawn of happiness. The person who has transformed the worst of fate into the best of fortune is life's champion. - Daisaku Ikeda

2nd Fert. Report

My nurse, Sarah, called today to tell me that I have 7 embryos doing really well today. They scheduled me for a transfer tomorrow ("day 3") but they may push it back to Thursday. It just depends on the quality of the embryos tomorrow. Then Dr. K walked in and offered to talk to me, and told me that everything looks good, I shouldn't be worried. Then we talked about how many embryos to transfer. I asked him if having had a septum removed would make it harder for me to carry twins and he said that was certainly possible, that carrying twins by nature is high risk.

So if we transfer on Thursday we will probably only do one embryo. If we transfer tomorrow I will push to do two so the stronger of the two has a chance at life, and if they both are fighters and stick around, well so be it!!!

-Sarah

Sunday, July 10, 2011

First fertilization report

This morning at about 11:30 my phone rang, and it was Shady Grove. I was really concerned at first because I didn't expect a call 'til after 3-- would an early call mean something went wrong?!

Carrie from the embryology lab was on the line, and she told me that out of our 11 eggs, 9 were mature and 8 fertilized. EIGHT! My lucky number. I was thrilled. Matt and I were thrilled!

For the first time in our lives, there is something in this world that is a little part of him and a little part of me. Maybe this won't all work out in the end, who knows, but for right now we are parents. We have 8 little embies floating in a petri dish in Rockville, and they are 100% ours. I am really, really at peace with this whole process right now. I am happy!

We will get a phone call tomorrow from Dr. K or our nurse to tell us the next step. Depending on how well our embryos thrive over the next 24 hours, we will know if we'll do a Day 3 or Day 5 transfer.


Dear God, please bless our little embryos and watch over them. Stand by the embryologists and keep them strong, let them know how much their job matters, and help them to keep our embies growing. Help Matt and I to be strong enough to handle everything that will follow in this process. Thank you for the many blessings you have already bestowed upon us!!! Amen.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Egg Retrieval!!!

Wow, what a day.

I woke up at 6:30 and showered right away, because we weren't allowed to wear lotions, make up, body spray or deodorant into the OR (particles the air can affect the little eggs/sperms, apparently).I tried to keep myself distracted because I was already hungry. I hate having to fast for surgeries-- that's a really difficult part for me! And yes, I did eat a granola bar at 4:00 (7.5 hours before my surgery), just in case you were wondering. I really wasn't nervous before we left-- more peaceful and hopeful. I was nervous about the outcome of the retrieval. This morning I woke up at 4:00 am (granola bar time!) with serious cramping pain. I was so afraid I was ovulating prematurely.

Matt and I left the house at 7:30, giving us an extra 30-45 minutes for traffic. We had to be there at 10:00, to prep for the 11:30 retrieval. Our drive was fine until crisis struck in the form of the Bay Bridge: just as we pulled up we saw a flashing sign saying the 2 left lanes were closed. No worries, we got past Rt. 8 without hitting a backup so I figured on a slow go. And then we stopped. No one was moving.

I called 877BAYSPAN, and the nice computer lady told me all lanes were temporarily closed due to "numerous accidents". So I kinda lost it. I was crying and sobbing and just praying to God, Jesus, St. Anthony that the bridge would open-- that the emergency responders would be blessed with clear thinking and the tow trucks would get there expediently. 25 minutes later, we considered driving up to Elkton and around. That would have taken 4 hours. Not a good idea. But it was bad: people were out of their cars, dads were playing football with their kids-- people were settling in for a long back up. I saw a helicopter flying over and I'd just had it. I called my mom for more information and some motherly support. She didn't know what to tell me, but told me that she believed it would work out. As soon as she got off the phone, we noticed people running back to their cars. And then we saw two green arrows- thank you Jesus!

We got to Rockville with a few minutes to spare. They took me right back, and got me set up in my room with my gown, hair net, and booties for my feet. The nurse covered me up with a blanket so I could relax. Matt and I read an old "OK!" magazine while we waited. Then the anesthesiologist came back, got my IV set up with an electrolyte drip and had me sign the consents. Then my nurse came in with the info on the retrieval, my consents for the retrieval, and my discharge instru
ctions. The next person to come in was from the Embryology Lab--- it was Matt's time to shine! She found me a new magazine to read while Matt was gone. But then he came back :)


So Matt and I kissed and talked and got ourselves so excited for this next step in our process. And then we heard a voice from outside the curtain-- Dr. Kipersztok!!! When I was checked in I was told that Dr. Levens would do the retrieval. He did my hysteroscopy so I wasn't concerned. With Shady Grove being such a big practice, most of the operative procedures are done at their Rockville office, so I usually expect to have a different doctor doing the procedures. When Dr. K walked into my little corner cubicle spot I was SO HAPPY! To me, it felt like a sign. He reassured me about my ovary pains and said he was happy to be a part of the retrieval. I was too. He's an awesome doctor, so super kind and reassuring.

Before I went back to the OR they made me use the restroom. I got to walk with an IV cart for the first time! And then the anesthesiologist came to take me back to the OR. I walked in, sat on the table while he talked to me & put the woozy drug in my IV line (not sure what it is but boy did it feel super!). Then Dr. K came in and I thanked the OR team for being there and taking care of me. The most interesting part of this whole thing is that right before you pass out you have to put your legs into stirrups that are really high up! So unglamourous. Then the anesthesiologist put on my pulse and blood pressure sensors, put the oxygen mask on me and... then I was in recovery! I am always amazed at how quickly it goes with anesthesia. One minute you're there, listening to the music and staring at the ceiling happily and then you're like groggily opening your eyes and wondering if it's really over.

When I woke up I felt a little crampy so Beth, my recovery nurse, gave me something in my IV line and then had me take a Vicodin. I was so happy to see Matt and then he told me: we got 10 eggs! 10 eggs "and counting", according to Dr. K, who went to see Matt in the waiting room while I was still out :) I was so happy I cried from the news. I was quite nervous about having any eggs retrieved. I only had 8 counted follicles, and I know that not all follicles guarantee eggs, so I was antsy. Finding out we got 10 was WONDERFUL! Until the nurse came back and said they got 11. That's super. Not a huge number, but good enough for me. Good enough for our baby.

I was under twilight sedation so I woke up much quicker than with normal anesthesia. The nurse got me up and walking, and then I was clear to go. The drive home was fine; I was tired but didn't have major pain. I at spaghettio's for my late lunch! Then I posted an update for my friends on the Shady Grove FB page, emailed a few of the fellow patients I've grown close to online, and went to sleep.

When the first vicodin wore off I was crying from pain-- the same ovary that hurt this morning hurt again. It hurt just to walk to the bathroom. I had to wait a bit to take the next Vicodin and the pain was just excruciating... but then the Vicodin kicked in, blessedly. I was able to sleep for a few hours, then Matt and I watched "Due Date". Funny movie. Zach Galifianakis is hysterical!

Waiting to hear the fertilization report tomorrow...



Egg Retrieval Day is Here!!!

Today is the big retrieval day! I use this youtube video to keep me happy and positive:


Friday, July 8, 2011

Stimming for IVF... my reflections


Now that I am done stimming for (hopefully) our first baby, I want to record my thoughts and reflections on the stims so I remember this for the future.

My meds
-I started with 75iu of Bravelle & Menopur equally each night
-I messed up the Ganirelix when I started taking it and thought it was AM/PM, so for the first day only I took an extra dose of it
-After a few days (see the posts) I went up to 112iu of Menopur and later 112iu of Bravelle and 150iu of Menopur
-I was taking my prenatal every morning


How I reacted to them
--Menopur is evil! I had horrible headaches the first four days, getting better by the day (first day was all day and fully intolerable, by the 4th day it was better)
--I also got serious backaches between days 3&6 on the stims. One night I couldn't sleep at all. Remember, you can take Extra Strength Tylenol. DO IT! The slightest bit of back pain, take tylenol before it gets out of hand.
--The Menopur stings going in, and will bruise if you pull out the needle too slowly. Leave it in for a few secs after you're done injecting, also, so some meds don't leak out.
--The Ganirelix needles is dull. The first time I tried to do this injection in my leg it bounced off my skin!!! Dart like motion, seriously.
--The Ganirelix also causes a red itchy welt around the injection, a quarter-sized reddish raised itchy thing. A warm paper towel will make it better in a little bit. Within 20 minutes it's gone. It's better in the thigh than the tummy.
--The meds make you super forgetful. Don't put anything down out of place. I lost my wedding ring about 4 times and my car keys more times than I care to count!



Thursday, July 7, 2011

Trigger Happy


We are triggered! I triggered at 11:30. It was crazy, I put getting everything together off because I figured we had tons of time. Next thing I know it's 11:22 and my hands are shaking--- wait a minute, Matt has to give me a shot????!

Skip to 11:29, the meds are mixed, alcohol is swabbed and Mattie jabs me like a pro. I am so proud of him. And it really didn't hurt that much. Like a shot, only given by a much cuter doctor, tee heeeeeee

Now I have a heat pad on the injection site so it calms down before bed time. I am so excited! Babies get ready for us!!!! Today I had 9 follicles ready to go-- let's hope for 9 eggs on Saturday!


SO WHAT'S A TRIGGER SHOT?
A trigger shot is an intramuscular injection of HcG, in my case it's Pregnyl. The trigger shot is used to prompt the ovaries to release the eggs, or ovulate, in a timed manner. It also maintains the maturation of the eggs, so they don't come out too young or too mature. The trigger shot is done exactly 36 hours before the scheduled retrieval. Our ER was scheduled for 11:30 on Saturday so we had to do the trigger on Thursday night at 11:30.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

She strikes again!

Tonight I was supposed to switch from a half dose of Menopur to a half dose of Bravelle. Well which vial did I put 2cc of sodium chloride in? The Menopur! Stupid me!!! I googled it and a couple forums showed questionable responses about having too much diluent so I stashed it in the fridge and grabbed a new vial. But gosh, I really am a moron! I could never be in medicine!

And the kicker is that the whole time I refuse to allow Matt to talk to me because "I need to concentrate". Even with my full attention I am a medical moron!!!!