Sitting up!!

Liam sat up for the first time yesterday! Big boy!!!

Thanksgiving 2012

We had a wonderful first Thanksgiving with Liam! After so many years of waiting and praying for him we were finally holding a little boy we are so grateful.
Yesterday we celebrated at my mom's house. Mom Emily Steve Zachary, Aidan, Aunt Bonnie, Uncle Bob and Robin were all there. Matt and I contributed the green bean casserole this year. Next year I want to make a dessert as well.
On the night before Thanksgiving the 3 of us Matt Grandmom dad and Uncle Rod in Waynesboro. We went to Cafe Del Sol; it was delicious as always.
This was typed using my voice input. I'll have to go back and edit the typos later :-)

Liam at Christmas

 

 

Christmas time with our sweet angel is so blessed! Liam is the cutest most adorable baby in the world... always making cooing sounds, smiling at everyone and everything, and drooling up like its his JOB. We took him to the outlets to meet Santa, who he had no problem with at all. The next weekend we went to the tree lighting ceremony in Carroll Valley Park. This weekend was a shopping weekend!

 

5 months

At 5 months Liam is such a joy! He is always full of smiles and laughter. When he sees us and gets excited he kicks his legs all around! He is a baby on the move! He is starting to creep. I put him on the playmat and he scoodges off of it! At night he moves around in his crib in his sleep.
Walker is really starting to love him. When we come home from daycare Walker comes right to his car seat and give him lots of kisses! Last night we filmed Walker and Liam in front of the Christmas tree and Walker couldn't stop giving Liam kisses!

Thankful

Today I am so thankful for our baby Liam, who slept in until 7!!!

Awful :(

I feel like I'm being tortured. I hate leaving Liam in the morning to go to work. I should be so grateful to have a job and be able to pay our bills, but I hate that I have a job and I hate that I have bills. All I want is to be near him, to hold him, to comfort him. He is part of me and still too small to be away from me. I can't help but feel this is all too early, he's just too little, that I shouldn't be away from him. It's a physical pain, almost like I can't breathe, when I drive away from him in the mornings. I thought it would get easier but it's worse. And I don't know if I will ever be able to forgive myself for missing these days.

4 WEEK OLD BABY!

Liam is 4 weeks old today! So hard to believe! Let’s see, what is life like with my little man? It is wonderful. He sleeps nicely at night—we get to bed by 9 or 10, and he doesn’t wake up until 1:30ish, then again at 4:30, and then sleeps until 7 or 8 (it depends on how long he goes until he pees!). During the day, we spend a LOT of time nursing… he always wants to nurse! He usually only goes an hour and a half or so? In between feedings, he hangs out in his pack n play (once a day) for quiet baby time, then we do tummy time, then we do gym mat time, then he sits in his swing while I eat lunch. The afternoon is a crap shoot—s ometimes he’ll sleep from 12-5 (with me waking him to feed). Othertimes he’ll fuss and want to be held. Today was a fussy afternoon. But now he’s sleeping peacefully in his pack n play! Today during tummy time he turned his head from one side to another! Yippee! I love this kid. I love to kiss his squishy little cheeks! I love to feel his milk breath on my face when he’s fallen asleep while I nurse him. (I feel it on my face because I’m usually covering him in kisses at this point!)

Birth Announcement!

Photo Card

View the entire collection of cards.

Praise God.... he's here!

Born 6/25 at 6:33 pm

40 Weeks & baby is staying put!

Had my 40 week/due date appointment. Baby is staying put! I am still just as dilated as I was at 32 weeks when I had my scare... baby is showing NO signs of wanting to go anywhere :) Silly baby. Plan: We are going to do an induction. I wanted Friday, but it will be Monday at the earliest. I will hear from the scheduler either tonight or tomorrow!

37 week update

I am 37 weeks pregnant! I love every moment of it, I really do.

At 37 weeks pregnant, I am feeling quite large. I am about 45" around... and have put on 30 pounds. I have developed stretchmarks on my belly in the past few weeks-- but I am not complaining. Every pregnancy quirk is an amazing blessing from God for me in this lifetime. My face also has some splotches on it-- I guess the "mask" of pregnancy. It looks like I've smeared self-tanner on myself in random places! I am still having trouble walking, particularly in the morning, but it is not getting worse so I can manage.

Liam still loves hanging out by my rib cage. He snuggles his little tooshie way up high, right below my chest. Sometimes when I am eating I just can not breathe and I have to stand up to let gravity push him back down a bit!

It looks like we are waiting for him to decide when to get here; my OB wants me to really try labor and see how it progresses. No c-section for us, for now.

I love you, sweet baby Liam!!!

36 week MFM Appointment

Today was my final appointment with Dr. Sweeney in Annapolis. All of the ultrasound techs in his office are super nice! It turns out that my placenta has moved up this time! It is now 3.5 cm from the os, so I am cleared to do a traditional delivery. He said I "could" do a c-section if I wanted, because there is a risk of bleeding during delivery, but that would be up to me and my OB. So now I am graduated from this part of my pregnancy... it is weird to think I am so far along!

35 Weeks, praise God!

At 35 weeks pregnant, I am feeling pretty good. Of course, it's relative to me and my own issues. It hurts to stand up and walk initially. After I warm up I feel better, but I like to sit after a bit. My hips still hurt-- sometimes I walk like a pirate with a wooden leg, haha!  I get out of breath easily (when Liam is up by my ribs, which he usually is!).

Let's talk about baby and baby's habits. Baby likes to hang out on the right side, with his toosh up towards me and his head down in my pelvis (not engaged yet). I often feel tiny little fingers pushing against my hip if I sit up too much, so I try to recline a lot. He is a very active little boy. I can watch my stomach swirl and sway all to one side based on what he's up to. Sometimes he bunches up so much that my stomach is no longer round, it is lopsided to wherever he is. It's usually on the right side, but a few times he's bunched up on the left. His feet go back and forth, from my right side to my left lower side where his head is (on the last ultrasound he was playing with a foot). I can see and feel his feet scrape along the left side of my belly when he's moving them back or forth. It kind of hurts in a pointy-thing-in-your-stomach way! Liam gets the hiccups about once a day, sometimes more, sometimes less. I may not feel it. At night he moves around a lot, particularly when I am going to sleep and then from 3-5. It doesn't keep me awake though, which is convenient. But I DO love it. I love to feel my little guy scoodging about in there, knowing he's okay and happy.

In the past week, it seems like he's developing reflexes. He will kick back when Matt taps my tummy. Once I was running my fingers down along my tummy, where his back is, and he would kick in response each time. I stopped to see if he was just kicking, but he didn't kick. Then I ran my fingers back down and yup! He kicked.

I sing the South African National Anthem to him every day so that when he's born he will recognize it. And I love him so very much! I tell him every single day, multiple times, how much I love him. I love my baby boy!

I've been having Braxton Hicks contractions since about 30 weeks that I could notice. But lately, just in this week, I am getting them more and more! Two days ago I really thought I was going into labor, I had four contractions in about an hour. But then they stopped. I think I'm not drinking enough fluids...

33 weeks and almost done work!

So I had to go in to see my OB on Tuesday. I have been in just so much pain in my hips; walking is difficult! Between being dilated, having pp, the hip pain, and my general anxiety, I am super stressed. My doctor wanted to pull me from work and wants me to get physical therapy. So tomorrow is my last day of work. This has been such a long road to get this far in our pregnancy; I don't want a single thing to jinx it!

Rock that belly! 32 week belly shot

After taking some picture on photobooth, I couldn't help but snap a shot of my belly. As I stood up it filled the whole screen! I am a planet!!! :)

OB Appt 32w1d & Steroid Shots

Yesterday I had my 32 week OB appointment. I am going every 2 weeks now, it's wonderful! Of course, going to the normal appointments offer no real reassurance; I can check his heartbeat on the doppler anytime I want! But it's nice to get through my list of questions-- I am having more and more at every appointment these days :)

My appointment was with Dr. O'Brien, who I really really like at that practice. He answers your questions thoroughly and will give personal anecdotes if appropriate. He obviously listens, which I appreciate. He also brings in his laptop so he can see my charts-- unlike another lazy doctor in that office (all she wants to do is get my appointments over with, because patients are clearly SO time-demanding!).

Anyway, I asked him about the steroid shots and he said if it's something we talk about, we do it. So I asked him if he thought we should do it, and he said, "well, we're talking about it, aren't we?" Very clever response! So he sent me over to L & D to get the first of the shots. I must have been the healthiest most unlabored woman they ever saw because they were curious why I was having the shot, was I in labor? Was I bleeding? Who sent me? Why?

But I don't care. I have a miracle baby in my belly and I will do everything possible to keep him here with me, in and out of my belly. If, god forbid, I go into early labor, I will have no regrets. And if they decide to do an early c-section because of the previa, well then, we are prepared just in case. I love this baby.

So, the steroid shot does kind of hurt. Not nearly as bad as Menopur going in, because it goes in fast. It's a quick jab and a quick pain. It is kind of sore now, but nothing worse than a flu shot. And it's for my baby! I'd lose a limb for this little guy!!!

Growing by the day! 31w3d

Today it's in the 70's, and I had a pair of black shorts that I got a few weeks ago. I brought them up to my Mom's for the weekend (I'm visiting Matt this weekend) and planned to wear them today. Yup, they already don't fit!

Luckily I only paid $6 for them at a consignment shop!!! :)

Liam is being a little spidermonkey in there. I can feel his fingers poking and prodding; are you a directing an orchestra, baby? :) I love you Liam!

30w5d: I get to see his sweet face!

Today I had my MFM appointment in Annapolis. They were busy, so they were about an hour behind  but I didn't mind! I got to catch up on magazines and just sit for an hour. It was nice! 

However, their ultrasound found that my placenta was covering my cervix, so I have partial placenta previa. Such a difference from what my OB just told me! So glad I went to the MFM! 

OB Appt - 30w1d

Today I had an OB appt afterschool. We had a lot to check on! 


-My baby boy: looks good! Getting big. Measures 31w4d gestational age (his head is bigger, ha! one measurement was on target at 31w4d and another was 32w0d). He weighs 3 lbs 12 oz. His growth is good, all within normal limits, he's just big for his age, tee hee! He was hanging out upside down, with his head down near my cervix and his toosh up by my ribs on the right side. His legs were folded in with his knees down towards my belly button and feet back up towards my left rib. This is where I always feel him hang out, so it was nice to see it confirmed on the screen!

-Placenta previa: It was difficult to see behind his head :)  We had to do an internal ultrasound, and even then she struggled to figure out what was the edge of the placenta. It definitely wasn't near the cervix though, so it was enough that they upgraded me from marginal placenta previa to "low lying placenta".

-My cyst: I'd previously had two cysts that made my right ovary quite large! They were even talking about the possibility of removing the ovary during delivery if the cysts didn't clear up. Luckily, they started to shrink around 20 weeks. By my last u/s at 24 weeks, I only had 1 cyst at 4 cm. At yesterday's scan I had no cysts and my ovary was normal! :) Yay!


I discussed with my doctor my anxieties about the placenta and vasa previa, given that I have a SG friend who went through it. I asked for a referral to an MFM just to ease my concerns and he easily gave it to me. They called and scheduled it for the next available so I am going on Monday! My questions for the MFM are really anxiety relievers, to check the placenta for any blood vessel issues, double check the cord, and make sure my little beeb looks good as we go into the final weeks. I can't believe it's almost here!

My doctor also gave me a note excusing me from work beyond 36 weeks. I am sad to have to miss the end of the year, but I know this is what's best for my miracle baby. I am going to give it to them on Monday. Fingers crossed it goes okay!


Tonight I am at my mom's house in PA; I have an interview tomorrow afternoon in Westminster. I am kind of stressed about the interview but this baby is just my #1 priority right now. If any prayer is to be answered, I want it to be getting Liam safely and healthily in my arms. I'd rather be a poor Mommy than continue to be a childless teacher... and now I am crying! :)

29 week belly!

29 weeks 1 day

Today I went to Longwood Gardens with Mom, Emmy and the boys. I am starting to feel huge! My hips hurt and I feel like I need to waddle to keep myself upright! I get tired easily these days; I'm not sure if it's the anemia or just the fact that I have a growing boy inside me! I am trying to not be one of those "overly neurotic" pregnant women, or self-martyring people who go on and on about "Ohhhhhhhhh I'm soooooooooo tireeeed!!!!". But you know what, I actually am kind of tired sometimes. Long drives even wear me out! Just sitting in the car, hahaha.

Longwood Gardens was beautiful and Liam was squirming the whole time; I think he loved all the pretty smells of the flowers.  :)

I'm Anemic! 28 weeks

Yesterday I did my glucose test-- I drank the fruit punch flavor, and it wasn't that bad. I also purposefully didn't drink any water for the 30 minutes or so before the test so I was PARCHED. Any liquid felt good :)


Dr. Judd called today to let me know that I'm anemic. I have to take an iron supplement. Waiting to hear back to get the prescription called in, but oh well. I can handle a minor iron deficiency! Just as long as my tiny baby is growing nicely :)

Family Baby Shower I - Dad's side of the family!

Today I went to Donna's house in Annapolis for a wonderful baby shower thrown by Dad's side of the family. Mom and Grandmom were there, as were: Donna, Tony, Brady & his adorable little Lilia, Tre, Angie, Coral & Cayman, Aunt Jeanne & Michele, Uncle Don, Lauree & Mike, and Hilary and Roger. The shower was also for Hilary, who is going to have a little girl in May.

I got some wonderful presents and can't wait to share them with Liam! We are so blessed to have a wonderful family so eager to support and welcome our baby boy!!!

Hiccuping Baby Boy!

I started feeling Liam's hiccups! It happened yesterday morning at school during 1st period. I just had to text Matt (at lunch, I'm responsible!) to tell him about it... it was so cute.

The thing that bothers me is google. If you google "fetal hiccups" you see a whole bunch of scary stuff about cord compression and hiccups. Dear Lord, I love this little guy so much and I don't want anything to go wrong. The internet is so scary!

I know it's totally normal for the baby to be hiccuping, so I'm going to just hope for the best. Love you, Liam!

Stroller colors!

We registered over a month ago at Babies R Us. I went in expecting it to be stressful and it really wasn't; it was great! We got a stroller that we were both really happy with, and picked it in a deep purple color that goes with our favorite football team-- the Ravens.

And then I got home. I got to thinking that the purple made no sense. Liam is a boy, sure, but it's not that I care about "genderizing" specific colors. I do however kinda like colors agreeing with each other. I am not a "matchy" person, but while I was at Target I saw a woman with our purple stroller and a little boy. The light baby blue blanket in the purple stroller just looked clash-y. I know! Picky picky. But all of our blankets and outfits will be in blues, greens or browns. There would be very few purples.

So we switched. We went from purple to light green, and I can't wait to see how cute his little dinosaur blankets are in the stroller. Bet yet I can't wait to see how cute my little dinosaur is in his stroller! He is kicking and squirming all the time now. I love him soooo much.

Stay strong little baby and keep growing. I will see you in 10+ weeks! Love, mommy

Scoogie Woo

My little scudger loves to move around in my tummy. I call him my scudger (scooger?) because he scudges across my belly sometimes, bump, bump, bump! I love it. I love my little guy so much! When he starts moving around all I want to do is just watch... I wish I had a window into my belly so I could see him and see what he's doing and see what he looks like. I can not wait to see what he looks like! Will he have a head full of hair? Who knows!!! :)

I just love my little guy so much!

Crib Mattresses?!

I didn't even realize that all crib mattresses are not created alike? I found this mattress through a forum that people say fits the crib model well:
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Sealy-Baby-Ultra-Rest-Crib-and-Toddler-Bed-Mattress/12662573#Specifications

Placenta Previa! Found at 23 Weeks

At my ultrasound today the sonographer found that my placenta was lying very low, so low in fact that it's considered "marginal placenta previa". I know what this is through other women on the Shady Grove Graduates page: it's where the placenta is lying on, across, or (in my case) very near to the cervix. This can become an issue later in pregnancy: it can cause heavy bleeding, and the bleeding itself may trigger labor.

Usually this is controlled through bedrest. I won't need bedrest if I don't bleed though, so I am really hoping this placenta decides to cooperate and move up as my uterus grows. I am terrified of bleeding. At this point, I've had OHSS, a morphine drip at 5 weeks pg, 4 surgeries, one lost baby, 2 ovarian cysts, and four gall bladder attacks. I want a free pass from any bleeding during this pregnancy :) Better yet, I just want Liam to grow to term and be born totally healthy. Yes, please!!!


** I just read that this condition is more common in women who've had C-sections or previous uterine surgeries.  That septate uterus is the gift that keeps on giving!!!

Thoughts on Being a Mother

A poem I found on a couple blogs...

"Thoughts on Becoming a Mother"There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better. 

I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books, but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again. Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. 

I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me. 

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see. Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body, I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall. I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won. 

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.I have learned to appreciate life.Yes I will be a wonderful mother.

-Author Unknown

Finally

I love every single moment of being pregnant. 

I can see his kicks!!!

I can see my belly move when Liam kicks now! I love it :) He was kicking so strongly that I ran over to show Matt. He and I were sitting watching his little kick show. Matt could feel him kicking strongly. I love sharing that with him!!!

20 Weeks Belly Shot!

I am 20 weeks. Halfway through. lalalala!! I could sing from the mountaintops!!!!

I love my little kicker/squirmer so much... being pregnant is such a wonderful blessing and I am cherishing every wonderful part of it. Even the painful parts (like the gall bladder, ligament pain) are amazing blessings from God that are bringing us our miracle... and so worth it.

Gall Bladder Shmall Bladder!

... and twenty other reasons I'm grateful Liam is still in my tummy

Saturday night I woke up about 5 minutes after going to bed with a dull ache in my right side. I tossed and turned but the pain got worse-- no position was comfortable! I got out of bed and tried to walk it off. I thought maybe I had a bruise or something. No. I tried the recliner, thinking maybe it was OHSS residual pain, but no. The pain got worse; it stretched up to my shoulder, around to my chest, and down to my hip.

I went out to the living room, hoping it was gas and walking around would help. The pain got worse. Then I started to freak out, fearing this was pre-term labor and that I was going to lose the baby. I got pretty sure this was what was going on. I called my doctor on call and they said to go to the ER-- had it been two days later I'd be 20 weeks and could go to Labor & Delivery! But no.

The drive down was agonizing. I was in so much pain-- and was so afraid this was "it". I prayed to Jesus, God, and the Blessed Mother that they'd watch over my baby (Liam must be Catholic).

Then we got to the ER, and by the time I sat in the waiting room, the pain was gone. It was so weird! And Liam was squirmmmmmming! So I knew my baby boy was okay. So what was it?

We had to wait a couple hours to see a doctor and he knew right away what it was: my gall bladder! He gave us a prescription for Tylenol w/ Codeine & Reglan. And off we left!!

This morning I woke up with another attack and it was AWFUL. We hadn't filled the prescription last night (leaving the ER at 3:30am) so I just had to bear it. I was crying and made Matt hold my hand at one point... :(

Dear God, thank you for blessing my baby and keeping him safe. 

Finding out the gender!

It's a.... BOY!

    Turns out that Liam has been hanging out in my belly all this time :) (we were wondering if it was Liam or Ava!). I was thrilled when she showed/told us it was a boy. I can't wait to meet my little man. I am thrilled to give Matt a son too. I know that's silly but I want my golfer to have a little golfer of his own!

Liam, I can't wait to meet you. I loved seeing you squirming around on the screen today, moving your hands and feet for us. Keep growing strong, little man. I will love you more and more each day, especially after I meet you!  Love, Mommy

18 week belly pic

18 weeks and counting-- feeling good but belly is definitely growing! So far I've put on about 6 pounds, and it seems that my appetite is getting stronger by the day this week. My heartburn is still around randomly, but I wouldn't say that I have any major pregnancy symptoms right now, other than feeling the little beeb kicking and squirming :) I do also have round ligament pain when I get up too quickly... :)

Dear baby,

I love, love, love when you kick and move inside me! Today during my 4th period class you did a flip. The first flip I ever really felt! And let me tell you, it took my breath away. It felt like you were crawling around in there or trying to get out through my belly button! I love you so much little baby and love to know you're in there... :)

17 Weeks Pregnant & Going Strong!

I haven't posted in SO long and I really need to update this page... but I want to check in to do a 17 week update. I am doing wonderfully. I feel great. I get heartburn occasionally and don't like to eat large meals. I also have an aversion to meat-- not the smell but the texture when I eat it. It's so dry and yucky! Baby is moving and Matt has been able to feel a few kicks. It is a wonderful feeling to be able to share with him. It's amazing to think that at 17 weeks my stomach is still smaller than it was at the height of my OHSS.

16 weeks and counting!

Hard to believe I'm 16 weeks pregnant :) Ive gained 5 pounds so far and have put on 2 inches just this week!!!

16 Weeks Picture

Waist: 37", Weight gained: 3 lbs!