Thursday, June 30, 2011
You know you're infertile when...
... a tiny fruit fly keeps landing on you and swarming around you but you refuse to kill it, suspecting that it might be the spirit of an ancestor coming to say hi and killing it would curse you to infertility forever!!!
I put the "moan" in hormonal
Sooooo today I had yet again a terrible headache. It's not a normal headache; it's the kind that makes you feel like your brain is a sponge and someone is squeezing it from the inside. It hurts to move too quickly, hurts to hear loud noises, even my eyeballs hurt! But it's not like a migraine. A migraine is so bad that the pain becomes its own issue that I comparmentalize and I can deal with it. This pain is different. It's like I can't even function. It's the craziest feeling in the world!
I am only on day two of the stims though so I figure it must be the drastic change in hormones affecting me. I've found many posts online that show others having the same side effects; I am not too worried about it, but ready for my body to adjust so that I don't feel so terrible!
On the plus side, I didn't wake up with the raging headache today-- it only struck at about 12:30ish :)
Life always has silver linings!!!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Headache! :(
I have the worst headache ever. It is multi-localed and it feels like my brain is moving and my neck is uncomfortable and it totally sucks...
Stupid side effect!!!!!
The Adventures of Sarah's Stimmng
So last night I started the stimulant shots, or "stimming" as people call them online. I went to an injection class back in April but was kind of nervous about actually doing it! Anywho I got started but when I went to finish the mixing there was an air bubble in the syringe by the plunger that just wouldn't go away! :( I didn't know what to do, so I reinjected it into an empty medicine vial to reload the syringe. Well something I did backfired and I ended up spraying myself with medicine!!!
On the NEXT try I mixed just fine and I Had no problem with mixing, but I ended up two little lines below the 1cc of water I started with! :(
On the THIRD try the same thing happened again but whatever. I did the injection. It took awhile to actually get it "in" me, hehehehe
But it went in-- and I couldn't sleep :( I was totally an insomniac. No good! I listened to new age music and tried to relax. I finally fell asleep around 1ish...
Woke up today with a killer headache!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
To Cheer Me UP....
I found this forum of success stories on people who had to do IVF with ICSI...
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=49593.12
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Crying in the Shower
I just cried in the shower for the past half an hour. I can't stop myself from thinking and wondering and asking why not me. Sometimes I tell myself, I tease myself, I chide myself, that God is punishing me for everything I have ever done wrong. That God is telling me I obviously am either not worthy enough or good enough or whatever enough to be a Mom. I know this is just my insecurity talking. I don't believe in a God that would be like that, but obviously on some level I do.
I just want an answer. I want to know why it's not me. I want to know why others get it so easy, why others take it for granted, why some can even KILL their children and still be blessed with the gift of life while I have waited since 2006 for even the slightest glimmer of a positive pregnancy test. I can't even imagine what that would feel like, what that joy would be, what emotions I would feel and I'm sure so many other more blessed, more entitled, more gifted, more privileged and more deserving women in the world would be more than willing to go on at length about how they feel about motherhood but I don't care.
This is about me. I have to make it about me and how I feel and how horrible it feels to believe that your very existence is pointless and without gravity. If I die tomorrow what will be left of me in the world? Absolutely nothing, except maybe some spiteful students who I once snapped at and a dog who will believe I abandoned him. (Of course I know I have my family but they have themselves and their own legacies. And my poor darling Matt) But if I die, I leave very little behind in the world. What does that say about me? What does that say about my existence?
I know this is so selfish, that there are plenty of parents in the world who aren't biologically linked to their children, who are parents through action more than blood, and who are probably better parents than most biological parents. Maybe one day that will be me, and my baby will biologically be another's but will be mine in heart and spirit. I would love that. I would love that baby. I would love any baby because I want to mother. Noun/verb, whatever, but there is something in me that wants to mother. I want to love. I have so much love to give and my poor labrador can only tolerate so much.
What if I die tomorrow? Where will that love go?
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Bone Sigh Arts
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Friday, June 17, 2011
HSG a go
Had my HSG yesterday in Rockville--- Dr. Woodrow and nurse Angie. Everything seemed goo, but my tubes didn't light up :( I don't think it's a problem though. It'll be okay!
So we are all set to get started with the IVF next month! :) :) :)
So we are all set to get started with the IVF next month! :) :) :)
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Caffeine & Fertility Links
http://www.siliconindia.com/shownews/Caffeine_consumption_can_drive_female_infertility-nid-86850.html
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Septate Info
INFO i found on a forum about septate uteri (?) -->
The first is the Yahoo Group I found and they have a very helpful FAQ link:
http://www.chibardun.net/~mickbeth/faq2008.htm
Here is a link to the group page:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/MullerianAnomalies/
I also belong to a fertility website that publishes highlights of recent IF studies that have been published. Since my operation to remove my septum in June there have been two really interesting articles that I will include here.
First Article
Issue 14: 24 Jul 2008
Source: Fertility and Sterility 2008;
A prospective controlled trial has confirmed that hysteroscopic resection of the septum improves the pregnancy rate in women with unexplained infertility.
Specialists from the University of Naples and the University of Palermo, Italy, conducted the study at three academic infertility clinics in order to investigate the fecundity of infertile women after surgery to correct a uterine septum.
The study group comprised 44 women with a septate uterus and otherwise unexplained infertility, who underwent hysteroscopic resection (metroplasty). The control group consisted of 132 women with unexplained infertility, who were managed expectantly. All of the women were followed up for a total of 1 year.
In their paper to be published in the journal Fertility and Sterility, the researchers (Mollo A et al) report that pregnancy and live birth rates were both significantly higher in the study group. The pregnancy rate was 38.6 percent in the study group, compared with 20.4 percent in the control group, while the live birth rates were 34.1 percent and 18.9 percent respectively.
A survival analysis showed that the cumulative probability of pregnancy during the 1-year follow-up period was significantly higher in the patients who underwent hysteroscopic resection, compared with the control group.
Finally, the fecundity rate (the number of pregnancies per 100 person-months) was also significantly higher in the study group, compared with the control group: 4.27 versus 1.92, respectively.
The researchers note that the study results support the idea that a uterine septum can affect implantation and early pregnancy processes, as suggested by previous studies. They suggest that women with a septate uterus and no other cause of infertility have a significantly higher chance of conceiving after removal of the septum than women with idiopathic infertility.
The researchers conclude: “The findings of the present study, together with availability of mini-surgical techniques, strongly encourage the treatment of uterine septa diagnosed during the sterility work-up of women whose primary infertility remains otherwise unexplained.”
Second Article
Issue 12: 16 Jun 2008
Source: European Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology and Reproductive Biology 2008
A small partial uterine septum confers a significantly increased risk of spontaneous abortion in pregnancies after IVF/ICSI, but this risk can be reduced by hysteroscopic resection before planning pregnancy, new data show.
Previous research has linked a large uterine septum with an increased risk of spontaneous abortion or premature delivery, but the effects of a small partial uterine septum are less clear.
To investigate, specialists from the University Medical Center in Ljubljana, Slovenia, conducted a retrospective study to evaluate the effect of the timing of hysteroscopic resection of a large uterine septum and of a small partial uterine septum on the spontaneous abortion rate in singleton pregnancies after IVF/ICSI.
The study population consisted of a total of 137 women who conceived following IVF/ICSI before (31 women) and after (106 women) hysteroscopic resection of a large or small partial uterine septum.
Each of these 137 women were matched with two consecutive pregnant women from the medical center’s IVF/ICSI registry who had a normal uterus, matched for age, body mass index, stimulation protocol, use of IVF or ICSI, and infertility cause.
The researchers present their findings in a new paper due to be published in the European Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology and Reproductive Biology. In the women who conceived before hysteroscopic resection, the spontaneous abortion rate was significantly higher for both types of septum compared with controls:
In women with a large uterine septum, the spontaneous abortion rate was 83.3 percent, compared with 16.7 percent in controls (odds ratio 25.0; 95 percent confidence interval 3.9-160).
In women with a small partial uterine septum, the spontaneous abortion rate was 78.9 percent, compared with 23.7 percent in controls (odds ratio 12.1; 95 percent confidence interval 3.2-45. 8 ).
In contrast, in the women who conceived after hysteroscopic resection, there were no significant differences in the spontaneous abortion rates for both types of septum compared with controls. The spontaneous abortion rates were 30.6 percent in women who originally had a large uterine septum, compared with 20.4 percent in controls, and 28.1 percent in women who originally had a small partial uterine septum, compared with 19.3 percent in controls.
The researchers conclude that, as with a large uterine septum, a small partial uterine septum is an important and hysteroscopically preventable risk factor for spontaneous abortion in pregnancies after IVF/ICSI.
They write: “In view of our results and the reports from the literature, we believe that a small partial uterine septum or arcuate uterine abnormality is an important risk factor for spontaneous abortion, and should be hysteroscopically resected before planning pregnancy.” This is especially important in women who have fertility problems and who are candidates for IVF/ICSI, they add.
« Last Edit: 25/09/08, 22:39 by AlmaMay »
The first is the Yahoo Group I found and they have a very helpful FAQ link:
http://www.chibardun.net/~mickbeth/faq2008.htm
Here is a link to the group page:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/MullerianAnomalies/
I also belong to a fertility website that publishes highlights of recent IF studies that have been published. Since my operation to remove my septum in June there have been two really interesting articles that I will include here.
First Article
Issue 14: 24 Jul 2008
Source: Fertility and Sterility 2008;
A prospective controlled trial has confirmed that hysteroscopic resection of the septum improves the pregnancy rate in women with unexplained infertility.
Specialists from the University of Naples and the University of Palermo, Italy, conducted the study at three academic infertility clinics in order to investigate the fecundity of infertile women after surgery to correct a uterine septum.
The study group comprised 44 women with a septate uterus and otherwise unexplained infertility, who underwent hysteroscopic resection (metroplasty). The control group consisted of 132 women with unexplained infertility, who were managed expectantly. All of the women were followed up for a total of 1 year.
In their paper to be published in the journal Fertility and Sterility, the researchers (Mollo A et al) report that pregnancy and live birth rates were both significantly higher in the study group. The pregnancy rate was 38.6 percent in the study group, compared with 20.4 percent in the control group, while the live birth rates were 34.1 percent and 18.9 percent respectively.
A survival analysis showed that the cumulative probability of pregnancy during the 1-year follow-up period was significantly higher in the patients who underwent hysteroscopic resection, compared with the control group.
Finally, the fecundity rate (the number of pregnancies per 100 person-months) was also significantly higher in the study group, compared with the control group: 4.27 versus 1.92, respectively.
The researchers note that the study results support the idea that a uterine septum can affect implantation and early pregnancy processes, as suggested by previous studies. They suggest that women with a septate uterus and no other cause of infertility have a significantly higher chance of conceiving after removal of the septum than women with idiopathic infertility.
The researchers conclude: “The findings of the present study, together with availability of mini-surgical techniques, strongly encourage the treatment of uterine septa diagnosed during the sterility work-up of women whose primary infertility remains otherwise unexplained.”
Second Article
Issue 12: 16 Jun 2008
Source: European Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology and Reproductive Biology 2008
A small partial uterine septum confers a significantly increased risk of spontaneous abortion in pregnancies after IVF/ICSI, but this risk can be reduced by hysteroscopic resection before planning pregnancy, new data show.
Previous research has linked a large uterine septum with an increased risk of spontaneous abortion or premature delivery, but the effects of a small partial uterine septum are less clear.
To investigate, specialists from the University Medical Center in Ljubljana, Slovenia, conducted a retrospective study to evaluate the effect of the timing of hysteroscopic resection of a large uterine septum and of a small partial uterine septum on the spontaneous abortion rate in singleton pregnancies after IVF/ICSI.
The study population consisted of a total of 137 women who conceived following IVF/ICSI before (31 women) and after (106 women) hysteroscopic resection of a large or small partial uterine septum.
Each of these 137 women were matched with two consecutive pregnant women from the medical center’s IVF/ICSI registry who had a normal uterus, matched for age, body mass index, stimulation protocol, use of IVF or ICSI, and infertility cause.
The researchers present their findings in a new paper due to be published in the European Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology and Reproductive Biology. In the women who conceived before hysteroscopic resection, the spontaneous abortion rate was significantly higher for both types of septum compared with controls:
In women with a large uterine septum, the spontaneous abortion rate was 83.3 percent, compared with 16.7 percent in controls (odds ratio 25.0; 95 percent confidence interval 3.9-160).
In women with a small partial uterine septum, the spontaneous abortion rate was 78.9 percent, compared with 23.7 percent in controls (odds ratio 12.1; 95 percent confidence interval 3.2-45. 8 ).
In contrast, in the women who conceived after hysteroscopic resection, there were no significant differences in the spontaneous abortion rates for both types of septum compared with controls. The spontaneous abortion rates were 30.6 percent in women who originally had a large uterine septum, compared with 20.4 percent in controls, and 28.1 percent in women who originally had a small partial uterine septum, compared with 19.3 percent in controls.
The researchers conclude that, as with a large uterine septum, a small partial uterine septum is an important and hysteroscopically preventable risk factor for spontaneous abortion in pregnancies after IVF/ICSI.
They write: “In view of our results and the reports from the literature, we believe that a small partial uterine septum or arcuate uterine abnormality is an important risk factor for spontaneous abortion, and should be hysteroscopically resected before planning pregnancy.” This is especially important in women who have fertility problems and who are candidates for IVF/ICSI, they add.
« Last Edit: 25/09/08, 22:39 by AlmaMay »
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