Crib Mattresses?!

I didn't even realize that all crib mattresses are not created alike? I found this mattress through a forum that people say fits the crib model well:
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Sealy-Baby-Ultra-Rest-Crib-and-Toddler-Bed-Mattress/12662573#Specifications

Placenta Previa! Found at 23 Weeks

At my ultrasound today the sonographer found that my placenta was lying very low, so low in fact that it's considered "marginal placenta previa". I know what this is through other women on the Shady Grove Graduates page: it's where the placenta is lying on, across, or (in my case) very near to the cervix. This can become an issue later in pregnancy: it can cause heavy bleeding, and the bleeding itself may trigger labor.

Usually this is controlled through bedrest. I won't need bedrest if I don't bleed though, so I am really hoping this placenta decides to cooperate and move up as my uterus grows. I am terrified of bleeding. At this point, I've had OHSS, a morphine drip at 5 weeks pg, 4 surgeries, one lost baby, 2 ovarian cysts, and four gall bladder attacks. I want a free pass from any bleeding during this pregnancy :) Better yet, I just want Liam to grow to term and be born totally healthy. Yes, please!!!


** I just read that this condition is more common in women who've had C-sections or previous uterine surgeries.  That septate uterus is the gift that keeps on giving!!!

Thoughts on Being a Mother

A poem I found on a couple blogs...

"Thoughts on Becoming a Mother"There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better. 

I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books, but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again. Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. 

I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me. 

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see. Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body, I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall. I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won. 

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.I have learned to appreciate life.Yes I will be a wonderful mother.

-Author Unknown

Finally

I love every single moment of being pregnant. 

I can see his kicks!!!

I can see my belly move when Liam kicks now! I love it :) He was kicking so strongly that I ran over to show Matt. He and I were sitting watching his little kick show. Matt could feel him kicking strongly. I love sharing that with him!!!

20 Weeks Belly Shot!

I am 20 weeks. Halfway through. lalalala!! I could sing from the mountaintops!!!!

I love my little kicker/squirmer so much... being pregnant is such a wonderful blessing and I am cherishing every wonderful part of it. Even the painful parts (like the gall bladder, ligament pain) are amazing blessings from God that are bringing us our miracle... and so worth it.

Gall Bladder Shmall Bladder!

... and twenty other reasons I'm grateful Liam is still in my tummy

Saturday night I woke up about 5 minutes after going to bed with a dull ache in my right side. I tossed and turned but the pain got worse-- no position was comfortable! I got out of bed and tried to walk it off. I thought maybe I had a bruise or something. No. I tried the recliner, thinking maybe it was OHSS residual pain, but no. The pain got worse; it stretched up to my shoulder, around to my chest, and down to my hip.

I went out to the living room, hoping it was gas and walking around would help. The pain got worse. Then I started to freak out, fearing this was pre-term labor and that I was going to lose the baby. I got pretty sure this was what was going on. I called my doctor on call and they said to go to the ER-- had it been two days later I'd be 20 weeks and could go to Labor & Delivery! But no.

The drive down was agonizing. I was in so much pain-- and was so afraid this was "it". I prayed to Jesus, God, and the Blessed Mother that they'd watch over my baby (Liam must be Catholic).

Then we got to the ER, and by the time I sat in the waiting room, the pain was gone. It was so weird! And Liam was squirmmmmmming! So I knew my baby boy was okay. So what was it?

We had to wait a couple hours to see a doctor and he knew right away what it was: my gall bladder! He gave us a prescription for Tylenol w/ Codeine & Reglan. And off we left!!

This morning I woke up with another attack and it was AWFUL. We hadn't filled the prescription last night (leaving the ER at 3:30am) so I just had to bear it. I was crying and made Matt hold my hand at one point... :(

Dear God, thank you for blessing my baby and keeping him safe. 

Finding out the gender!

It's a.... BOY!

    Turns out that Liam has been hanging out in my belly all this time :) (we were wondering if it was Liam or Ava!). I was thrilled when she showed/told us it was a boy. I can't wait to meet my little man. I am thrilled to give Matt a son too. I know that's silly but I want my golfer to have a little golfer of his own!

Liam, I can't wait to meet you. I loved seeing you squirming around on the screen today, moving your hands and feet for us. Keep growing strong, little man. I will love you more and more each day, especially after I meet you!  Love, Mommy

18 week belly pic

18 weeks and counting-- feeling good but belly is definitely growing! So far I've put on about 6 pounds, and it seems that my appetite is getting stronger by the day this week. My heartburn is still around randomly, but I wouldn't say that I have any major pregnancy symptoms right now, other than feeling the little beeb kicking and squirming :) I do also have round ligament pain when I get up too quickly... :)

Dear baby,

I love, love, love when you kick and move inside me! Today during my 4th period class you did a flip. The first flip I ever really felt! And let me tell you, it took my breath away. It felt like you were crawling around in there or trying to get out through my belly button! I love you so much little baby and love to know you're in there... :)

17 Weeks Pregnant & Going Strong!

I haven't posted in SO long and I really need to update this page... but I want to check in to do a 17 week update. I am doing wonderfully. I feel great. I get heartburn occasionally and don't like to eat large meals. I also have an aversion to meat-- not the smell but the texture when I eat it. It's so dry and yucky! Baby is moving and Matt has been able to feel a few kicks. It is a wonderful feeling to be able to share with him. It's amazing to think that at 17 weeks my stomach is still smaller than it was at the height of my OHSS.

16 weeks and counting!

Hard to believe I'm 16 weeks pregnant :) Ive gained 5 pounds so far and have put on 2 inches just this week!!!

16 Weeks Picture

Waist: 37", Weight gained: 3 lbs!

OHSS Dos and Don'ts

Now that I've had a few weeks to slightly recover from my OHSS I want to put together a post to help all the other ladies out there who find themselves struck with this horrible syndrome! :(  I spent a lot of time laying around feeling miserable, googling OHSS, and finding very little practical advice out there. I definitely know that having OHSS, and being pregnant with twins, is no joke!



 Here is just a simple list of what I learned about OHSS recovery, things I heard from nurses, my doctor, read on forums, or learned mostly through my own experiences of guess & check: 


OHSS Dos and Don'ts 
-DO ask your clinic if they have any info or recommendations on what you eat
-DO increase your intake of sodium. Contrary to what some say about OHSS, it is not bloating from water. Increasing your sodium isn't bad. In fact, your sodium levels with OHSS are low. Increasing your sodium helps your body to metabolize the fluids you're leaking
 -DO drink gatorade, coconut water, smartwater and any other drinks with electrolytes
-DON'T drink plain water. At all. Also, DON'T drink water with lemon, which some people on forums are suggesting. This isn't a liver condition! It's a crazy blood vessel condition! Lemon and acidic levels HURTTTTT
-DO weigh yourself. Severe weight gain is a sign that you might need to have the fluid aspirated
-DO measure your stomach, morning and night - not only is it good to know if you're adding more bloat, but it will be SHOCKING to see how big you actually get
-DO increase your protein intake in whatever way your stomach allows. A nurse suggested Ensure shakes towards the end and I drank 3 a day. I managed to avoid another draining so perhaps that helped to do the trick!
-DO stay home and keep your feet up. It will get worse before it gets better! Even towards the end, after 4 weeks of it, I still wasn't able to walk long distances and had to use a scooter at Walmart!
-DO manage your pain. Night was the worst for me (kidneys are exhausted after a day of fighting gravity). Take tylenol or whatever else your doctor suggests to get through the pain!
-DON'T try to sleep in bed if it's uncomfortable. I lived in my recliner for 6 weeks after my initial diagnosis. Even after I was "recovered" my back and abdominal muscles were too weak to really support myself lying flat in bed. This also made it easier to get through the days.
-DO keep your feet up, because your chance of blood clots is higher with OHSS (my platelets were so high that I had to take Lovenox for a week)
-DO ask your doctor about alternate ways to take your hormone supplements. I was to take my estradiol orally but since I could hardly eat, on the days I had an empty stomach I would get really ill. Ask if it can be put in vaginally
-DO keep moving as much as you can. Walk around the house a couple times... keep your blood flowing and your muscles warm!

-DO keep a journal. One day, this misery will all be a memory :) I promise!


... I will add more as I think of them

And then there was one...

Today we found out that we'd lost one of our twinnies :( It was Baby B, who'd had a low heartbeat from the start. We knew that his/her sac was small and I knew what that could mean, but I'd been drinking a lot of gatorade and water in the last week or so and really, really hoped I'd be able to pull off a little miracle, but there was no heart movement today. The baby just stopped growing a couple days ago, and you could still see the outline of the little motionless baby-- they're getting big! But from now on we will only watch one little bean continue to grow. Goodbye my precious baby B. Thank you for keeping Baby A company until he/she was strong enough to keep growing on his/her own. Vanishing Twin Syndrome may be a condition, but it totally sucks. I will always miss my baby B.