Today I am so thankful for our baby Liam, who slept in until 7!!!
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Friday, August 31, 2012
Awful :(
I feel like I'm being tortured. I hate leaving Liam in the morning to go to work. I should be so grateful to have a job and be able to pay our bills, but I hate that I have a job and I hate that I have bills. All I want is to be near him, to hold him, to comfort him. He is part of me and still too small to be away from me. I can't help but feel this is all too early, he's just too little, that I shouldn't be away from him. It's a physical pain, almost like I can't breathe, when I drive away from him in the mornings.
I thought it would get easier but it's worse. And I don't know if I will ever be able to forgive myself for missing these days.
Monday, July 23, 2012
4 WEEK OLD BABY!
Liam is 4 weeks old today! So hard to believe! Let’s see, what is life like with my little man? It is wonderful. He sleeps nicely at night—we get to bed by 9 or 10, and he doesn’t wake up until 1:30ish, then again at 4:30, and then sleeps until 7 or 8 (it depends on how long he goes until he pees!). During the day, we spend a LOT of time nursing… he always wants to nurse! He usually only goes an hour and a half or so? In between feedings, he hangs out in his pack n play (once a day) for quiet baby time, then we do tummy time, then we do gym mat time, then he sits in his swing while I eat lunch. The afternoon is a crap shoot—s ometimes he’ll sleep from 12-5 (with me waking him to feed). Othertimes he’ll fuss and want to be held. Today was a fussy afternoon. But now he’s sleeping peacefully in his pack n play! Today during tummy time he turned his head from one side to another! Yippee! I love this kid.
I love to kiss his squishy little cheeks! I love to feel his milk breath on my face when he’s fallen asleep while I nurse him. (I feel it on my face because I’m usually covering him in kisses at this point!)
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Monday, June 18, 2012
40 Weeks & baby is staying put!
Had my 40 week/due date appointment. Baby is staying put! I am still just as dilated as I was at 32 weeks when I had my scare... baby is showing NO signs of wanting to go anywhere :) Silly baby.
Plan: We are going to do an induction. I wanted Friday, but it will be Monday at the earliest. I will hear from the scheduler either tonight or tomorrow!
Friday, June 1, 2012
37 week update
I am 37 weeks pregnant! I love every moment of it, I really do.
At 37 weeks pregnant, I am feeling quite large. I am about 45" around... and have put on 30 pounds. I have developed stretchmarks on my belly in the past few weeks-- but I am not complaining. Every pregnancy quirk is an amazing blessing from God for me in this lifetime. My face also has some splotches on it-- I guess the "mask" of pregnancy. It looks like I've smeared self-tanner on myself in random places! I am still having trouble walking, particularly in the morning, but it is not getting worse so I can manage.
Liam still loves hanging out by my rib cage. He snuggles his little tooshie way up high, right below my chest. Sometimes when I am eating I just can not breathe and I have to stand up to let gravity push him back down a bit!
It looks like we are waiting for him to decide when to get here; my OB wants me to really try labor and see how it progresses. No c-section for us, for now.
I love you, sweet baby Liam!!!
At 37 weeks pregnant, I am feeling quite large. I am about 45" around... and have put on 30 pounds. I have developed stretchmarks on my belly in the past few weeks-- but I am not complaining. Every pregnancy quirk is an amazing blessing from God for me in this lifetime. My face also has some splotches on it-- I guess the "mask" of pregnancy. It looks like I've smeared self-tanner on myself in random places! I am still having trouble walking, particularly in the morning, but it is not getting worse so I can manage.
Liam still loves hanging out by my rib cage. He snuggles his little tooshie way up high, right below my chest. Sometimes when I am eating I just can not breathe and I have to stand up to let gravity push him back down a bit!
It looks like we are waiting for him to decide when to get here; my OB wants me to really try labor and see how it progresses. No c-section for us, for now.
I love you, sweet baby Liam!!!
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
36 week MFM Appointment
Today was my final appointment with Dr. Sweeney in Annapolis. All of the ultrasound techs in his office are super nice! It turns out that my placenta has moved up this time! It is now 3.5 cm from the os, so I am cleared to do a traditional delivery. He said I "could" do a c-section if I wanted, because there is a risk of bleeding during delivery, but that would be up to me and my OB. So now I am graduated from this part of my pregnancy... it is weird to think I am so far along!
Friday, May 18, 2012
35 Weeks, praise God!
At 35 weeks pregnant, I am feeling pretty good. Of course, it's relative to me and my own issues. It hurts to stand up and walk initially. After I warm up I feel better, but I like to sit after a bit. My hips still hurt-- sometimes I walk like a pirate with a wooden leg, haha! I get out of breath easily (when Liam is up by my ribs, which he usually is!).
Let's talk about baby and baby's habits. Baby likes to hang out on the right side, with his toosh up towards me and his head down in my pelvis (not engaged yet). I often feel tiny little fingers pushing against my hip if I sit up too much, so I try to recline a lot. He is a very active little boy. I can watch my stomach swirl and sway all to one side based on what he's up to. Sometimes he bunches up so much that my stomach is no longer round, it is lopsided to wherever he is. It's usually on the right side, but a few times he's bunched up on the left. His feet go back and forth, from my right side to my left lower side where his head is (on the last ultrasound he was playing with a foot). I can see and feel his feet scrape along the left side of my belly when he's moving them back or forth. It kind of hurts in a pointy-thing-in-your-stomach way! Liam gets the hiccups about once a day, sometimes more, sometimes less. I may not feel it. At night he moves around a lot, particularly when I am going to sleep and then from 3-5. It doesn't keep me awake though, which is convenient. But I DO love it. I love to feel my little guy scoodging about in there, knowing he's okay and happy.
In the past week, it seems like he's developing reflexes. He will kick back when Matt taps my tummy. Once I was running my fingers down along my tummy, where his back is, and he would kick in response each time. I stopped to see if he was just kicking, but he didn't kick. Then I ran my fingers back down and yup! He kicked.
I sing the South African National Anthem to him every day so that when he's born he will recognize it. And I love him so very much! I tell him every single day, multiple times, how much I love him. I love my baby boy!
I've been having Braxton Hicks contractions since about 30 weeks that I could notice. But lately, just in this week, I am getting them more and more! Two days ago I really thought I was going into labor, I had four contractions in about an hour. But then they stopped. I think I'm not drinking enough fluids...
Let's talk about baby and baby's habits. Baby likes to hang out on the right side, with his toosh up towards me and his head down in my pelvis (not engaged yet). I often feel tiny little fingers pushing against my hip if I sit up too much, so I try to recline a lot. He is a very active little boy. I can watch my stomach swirl and sway all to one side based on what he's up to. Sometimes he bunches up so much that my stomach is no longer round, it is lopsided to wherever he is. It's usually on the right side, but a few times he's bunched up on the left. His feet go back and forth, from my right side to my left lower side where his head is (on the last ultrasound he was playing with a foot). I can see and feel his feet scrape along the left side of my belly when he's moving them back or forth. It kind of hurts in a pointy-thing-in-your-stomach way! Liam gets the hiccups about once a day, sometimes more, sometimes less. I may not feel it. At night he moves around a lot, particularly when I am going to sleep and then from 3-5. It doesn't keep me awake though, which is convenient. But I DO love it. I love to feel my little guy scoodging about in there, knowing he's okay and happy.
In the past week, it seems like he's developing reflexes. He will kick back when Matt taps my tummy. Once I was running my fingers down along my tummy, where his back is, and he would kick in response each time. I stopped to see if he was just kicking, but he didn't kick. Then I ran my fingers back down and yup! He kicked.
I sing the South African National Anthem to him every day so that when he's born he will recognize it. And I love him so very much! I tell him every single day, multiple times, how much I love him. I love my baby boy!
I've been having Braxton Hicks contractions since about 30 weeks that I could notice. But lately, just in this week, I am getting them more and more! Two days ago I really thought I was going into labor, I had four contractions in about an hour. But then they stopped. I think I'm not drinking enough fluids...
Thursday, May 3, 2012
33 weeks and almost done work!
So I had to go in to see my OB on Tuesday. I have been in just so much pain in my hips; walking is difficult! Between being dilated, having pp, the hip pain, and my general anxiety, I am super stressed. My doctor wanted to pull me from work and wants me to get physical therapy. So tomorrow is my last day of work. This has been such a long road to get this far in our pregnancy; I don't want a single thing to jinx it!
Rock that belly! 32 week belly shot
After taking some picture on photobooth, I couldn't help but snap a shot of my belly. As I stood up it filled the whole screen! I am a planet!!! :)
Friday, April 27, 2012
OB Appt 32w1d & Steroid Shots
Yesterday I had my 32 week OB appointment. I am going every 2 weeks now, it's wonderful! Of course, going to the normal appointments offer no real reassurance; I can check his heartbeat on the doppler anytime I want! But it's nice to get through my list of questions-- I am having more and more at every appointment these days :)
My appointment was with Dr. O'Brien, who I really really like at that practice. He answers your questions thoroughly and will give personal anecdotes if appropriate. He obviously listens, which I appreciate. He also brings in his laptop so he can see my charts-- unlike another lazy doctor in that office (all she wants to do is get my appointments over with, because patients are clearly SO time-demanding!).
Anyway, I asked him about the steroid shots and he said if it's something we talk about, we do it. So I asked him if he thought we should do it, and he said, "well, we're talking about it, aren't we?" Very clever response! So he sent me over to L & D to get the first of the shots. I must have been the healthiest most unlabored woman they ever saw because they were curious why I was having the shot, was I in labor? Was I bleeding? Who sent me? Why?
But I don't care. I have a miracle baby in my belly and I will do everything possible to keep him here with me, in and out of my belly. If, god forbid, I go into early labor, I will have no regrets. And if they decide to do an early c-section because of the previa, well then, we are prepared just in case. I love this baby.
So, the steroid shot does kind of hurt. Not nearly as bad as Menopur going in, because it goes in fast. It's a quick jab and a quick pain. It is kind of sore now, but nothing worse than a flu shot. And it's for my baby! I'd lose a limb for this little guy!!!
My appointment was with Dr. O'Brien, who I really really like at that practice. He answers your questions thoroughly and will give personal anecdotes if appropriate. He obviously listens, which I appreciate. He also brings in his laptop so he can see my charts-- unlike another lazy doctor in that office (all she wants to do is get my appointments over with, because patients are clearly SO time-demanding!).
Anyway, I asked him about the steroid shots and he said if it's something we talk about, we do it. So I asked him if he thought we should do it, and he said, "well, we're talking about it, aren't we?" Very clever response! So he sent me over to L & D to get the first of the shots. I must have been the healthiest most unlabored woman they ever saw because they were curious why I was having the shot, was I in labor? Was I bleeding? Who sent me? Why?
But I don't care. I have a miracle baby in my belly and I will do everything possible to keep him here with me, in and out of my belly. If, god forbid, I go into early labor, I will have no regrets. And if they decide to do an early c-section because of the previa, well then, we are prepared just in case. I love this baby.
So, the steroid shot does kind of hurt. Not nearly as bad as Menopur going in, because it goes in fast. It's a quick jab and a quick pain. It is kind of sore now, but nothing worse than a flu shot. And it's for my baby! I'd lose a limb for this little guy!!!
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Growing by the day! 31w3d
Today it's in the 70's, and I had a pair of black shorts that I got a few weeks ago. I brought them up to my Mom's for the weekend (I'm visiting Matt this weekend) and planned to wear them today. Yup, they already don't fit!
Luckily I only paid $6 for them at a consignment shop!!! :)
Liam is being a little spidermonkey in there. I can feel his fingers poking and prodding; are you a directing an orchestra, baby? :) I love you Liam!
Luckily I only paid $6 for them at a consignment shop!!! :)
Liam is being a little spidermonkey in there. I can feel his fingers poking and prodding; are you a directing an orchestra, baby? :) I love you Liam!
Monday, April 16, 2012
30w5d: I get to see his sweet face!
Today I had my MFM appointment in Annapolis. They were busy, so they were about an hour behind but I didn't mind! I got to catch up on magazines and just sit for an hour. It was nice!
However, their ultrasound found that my placenta was covering my cervix, so I have partial placenta previa. Such a difference from what my OB just told me! So glad I went to the MFM!
Thursday, April 12, 2012
OB Appt - 30w1d
Today I had an OB appt afterschool. We had a lot to check on!
-My baby boy: looks good! Getting big. Measures 31w4d gestational age (his head is bigger, ha! one measurement was on target at 31w4d and another was 32w0d). He weighs 3 lbs 12 oz. His growth is good, all within normal limits, he's just big for his age, tee hee! He was hanging out upside down, with his head down near my cervix and his toosh up by my ribs on the right side. His legs were folded in with his knees down towards my belly button and feet back up towards my left rib. This is where I always feel him hang out, so it was nice to see it confirmed on the screen!
-Placenta previa: It was difficult to see behind his head :) We had to do an internal ultrasound, and even then she struggled to figure out what was the edge of the placenta. It definitely wasn't near the cervix though, so it was enough that they upgraded me from marginal placenta previa to "low lying placenta".
-My cyst: I'd previously had two cysts that made my right ovary quite large! They were even talking about the possibility of removing the ovary during delivery if the cysts didn't clear up. Luckily, they started to shrink around 20 weeks. By my last u/s at 24 weeks, I only had 1 cyst at 4 cm. At yesterday's scan I had no cysts and my ovary was normal! :) Yay!
I discussed with my doctor my anxieties about the placenta and vasa previa, given that I have a SG friend who went through it. I asked for a referral to an MFM just to ease my concerns and he easily gave it to me. They called and scheduled it for the next available so I am going on Monday! My questions for the MFM are really anxiety relievers, to check the placenta for any blood vessel issues, double check the cord, and make sure my little beeb looks good as we go into the final weeks. I can't believe it's almost here!
My doctor also gave me a note excusing me from work beyond 36 weeks. I am sad to have to miss the end of the year, but I know this is what's best for my miracle baby. I am going to give it to them on Monday. Fingers crossed it goes okay!
Tonight I am at my mom's house in PA; I have an interview tomorrow afternoon in Westminster. I am kind of stressed about the interview but this baby is just my #1 priority right now. If any prayer is to be answered, I want it to be getting Liam safely and healthily in my arms. I'd rather be a poor Mommy than continue to be a childless teacher... and now I am crying! :)
-My baby boy: looks good! Getting big. Measures 31w4d gestational age (his head is bigger, ha! one measurement was on target at 31w4d and another was 32w0d). He weighs 3 lbs 12 oz. His growth is good, all within normal limits, he's just big for his age, tee hee! He was hanging out upside down, with his head down near my cervix and his toosh up by my ribs on the right side. His legs were folded in with his knees down towards my belly button and feet back up towards my left rib. This is where I always feel him hang out, so it was nice to see it confirmed on the screen!
-Placenta previa: It was difficult to see behind his head :) We had to do an internal ultrasound, and even then she struggled to figure out what was the edge of the placenta. It definitely wasn't near the cervix though, so it was enough that they upgraded me from marginal placenta previa to "low lying placenta".
-My cyst: I'd previously had two cysts that made my right ovary quite large! They were even talking about the possibility of removing the ovary during delivery if the cysts didn't clear up. Luckily, they started to shrink around 20 weeks. By my last u/s at 24 weeks, I only had 1 cyst at 4 cm. At yesterday's scan I had no cysts and my ovary was normal! :) Yay!
I discussed with my doctor my anxieties about the placenta and vasa previa, given that I have a SG friend who went through it. I asked for a referral to an MFM just to ease my concerns and he easily gave it to me. They called and scheduled it for the next available so I am going on Monday! My questions for the MFM are really anxiety relievers, to check the placenta for any blood vessel issues, double check the cord, and make sure my little beeb looks good as we go into the final weeks. I can't believe it's almost here!
My doctor also gave me a note excusing me from work beyond 36 weeks. I am sad to have to miss the end of the year, but I know this is what's best for my miracle baby. I am going to give it to them on Monday. Fingers crossed it goes okay!
Tonight I am at my mom's house in PA; I have an interview tomorrow afternoon in Westminster. I am kind of stressed about the interview but this baby is just my #1 priority right now. If any prayer is to be answered, I want it to be getting Liam safely and healthily in my arms. I'd rather be a poor Mommy than continue to be a childless teacher... and now I am crying! :)
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