The Dream

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next." -Gilda Radner

Last night I had a dream that was just so wonderful, just so real, that I hope it is part of my intuition and signs of things to come, and not part of "just a dream". In the dream I had my baby. I have had other dreams of my children before, just a few (one, the kids were posing in a picture with Jennifer, Noah and Caleb-- a girl & a boy). But in this dream, I had my baby and I really got to see him and hold him. We'd named him Liam, and nearly everyone in the family was there. I was holding him, bouncing him, feeding him, loving him! At one point I'd gone upstairs (it was in a house very similar to my mom's old house just in the stairwell). As I was coming down the stairs holding the baby, I heard my grandmother's (Wahl's) voice. I started crying. I heard her tell everyone she just came to see the baby and see how he was doing. But everyone else just thought nothing of it, like she was still alive to them, but I started crying though because I miss her so much & knew how special it would be to actually see her. This was the first dream I've really even had about her! She was sitting down and wanted to hold the baby so I put him in her arms and she was saying nice things about him, I forget what, then I took a picture of her holding Liam with other people (Emily, Mom, Robin, Steve & Zachary) around. When she handed him back to him she told me "you take care of him, you hear?" I cried then too. I miss her voice and everything about her so much. Then I just was freaking out about how to take care of the baby. I didn't know what to do and I didn't have any baby stuff! It was so funny... but I just loved that feeling and I loved that baby so much in that dream. I hope it comes true. I hope it was my message from my grandmother that everything is working out the way it should...