Where are you, God?

Last night I kept asking God where He was. Why doesn't God answer my prayers? Why doesn't He listen to me? Where is He? I still can't say that I understand this. Why can't we have children when so many crazy, uncaring, absentee people can? Is there a reason to this? Does God not listen? Does God not have power over this in our lives? Does He hear me but not answer for His own reasons?

One thing I know: this will never make sense in time. This isn't "in God's time". This is horrible and there is no way to make sense of it. I messaged Emmy last night that I was having such a hard time with dealing with what we're going through and my relationship with God. She sent me the link to a rabbi's interview on NPR. His insights really struck me, including the quote below:

"Once it happens, God's role is to give us the strength and vision to come through it with our faith in tact. God is there to send us people to hug us and hold our hands and dry our tears so we don't feel abandoned. Not by God and not by friends. And then, in our response to the tragedy, we have something good that comes out of it."